Oh, how I struggle with this every day

Most of you know what I’m talking about. There are fifty things a day that cannot be touched in writing but are journalistic gold. So, while Guy is in Europe and presumably not reading this, I’ll take my chances.

So. We’ve had a nanny staying here for the last two days to help with his kids so I can manage mine. It sounds like that should be easy, but the six of them attend five different schools. I KNOW. I drive mine fifteen miles over the hill in one direction and his go fifteen in the other direction. Transfers happen in schoolyards, practices, and a Toys R Us parking lot. It’s logistically sound yet ridiculous and really can’t be handled any other way. Sure, they could all go to the same school but that’s crazy talk. Who does that?

But I digress.

Tonight, Guy checked in from Berlin as he was waking up and the kids were going to bed. I said, “Here, the boys are dying to talk to you, and I need to go put lotion on the nanny’s back.”

There was a long silence.

“Okay?”

“Okay.”

Silence.

“Do you want to know why I’m putting lotion on her back?”

He groaned. “You’re killing me.” Oh, I was enjoying this. He’d just woken up.

“Well, It has to go on a spot she can’t reach, on the upper middle. You know, that one unreachable spot?”

“KILLING ME.”

“Oh. Sorry. Well, she got a new tattoo and has to put lotion on it as it heals.”

Dead silence. I think he was starting to hate me a little.

“Okay well enjoy your talk with the boys. I’ll come to the phone later, you know, after I finish rubbing lotion her new tattoo. I think she’s going to have to take off her shirt for this. Bye!”

Heh. Gotta have my fun where I find it.

15 replies
  1. Pamela
    Pamela says:

    Okay let’s get real as a mother who raised 5 children and yes without a nanny it’s called parenting with a nanny it’s called I can’t do it alone. And yes all of mine went to college and are in the medical field. Heres my problem no one tells you the truth about children. The fact that at 16 they won’t like you will blame you for everything wrong in there life right through there life. I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t blame there ways on there parents. I wish people would stop glorifing the adventure and realize your gonna screw them up one way or another. I mean come on we raise kids while still raising ourselves how could they not be messed up in one form or another. The truth is children as they age will want nothing to do with you and if you have a son hope he picks a female who likes you. If not your screwed for life and marrying for life doesn’t exist anymore so youre lucky.  Besides no one stays married I know 3 couples I know been married 42 to 54 years all divorcing. No marriage stays forever anymore laugh if you want but it’s fact.  And believe me you will find yourself talking to your friends 20 years from now saying how ungrateful your children are we all do it.  If anything someone needs to write a book of the truth of raising children. I haven’t meant a person in life who doesn’t blame there parents for how they are in life.  I mean come on your still learning yourself and now raising children how could they not be damaged goods in some form. The only thing I am grateful for is not one of mine uses drugs and that’s a real accomplishment. Oh, and as far as the future you will be lucky you see them or get a visit in your senior years.  No one wants there parents then. It’s a reality.

  2. Pamela
    Pamela says:

    Oh, do I sound pissed absolutely the truth is hard to find anymore.  The TRUTH that when they grow up you will find yourself standing in line talking to someone your age and agreeing on how self serving children are today even your own you will find have very little respect for you and I came from an upper middle class family my kids did not live poorly. In your senior years you will find society wanting nothing to do with you and I am only in my mid 50ties and it’s already begun and me I was a professional dancer in Las Vegas years ago so I know beauty doesn’t last so you better have more to go on unless you have trouble aging insecure that is then you can get botox I have a sister who’s’ 57 can’t live without and that’s sad. Anywho, sorry but I stumbled across your blog and just had to tell the TRUTH.

  3. AmyDanel
    AmyDanel says:

    There. Are. No. Words. for Pamela. O…K…moving on.

    I am having a similar experience with my daughter starting K this year.  I was devastated that she would have to go to Latchkey for 2 hours after school, then relieved that it was run by a church who has a reputable daycare in town…and then I met the actually workers.  One has tattoos, everywhere…piercings, everywhere.  I am not judging, I have many family members who suffer from not being born with enough holes in their bodies or colors on their skin.  She is actually nice, but as school has been in for 2 months now my daughter has overheard many cell phone conversations with various boyfriends and given the stories of the tattoos and introduced to her new ones (almost weekly!!).  You can imagine the ride home conversations, I try to make them teaching moments for acceptance of differences, but also choices and consequences.

    I guess I can say that my child is not sheltered :/

  4. Pamela
    Pamela says:

    Hey AmyDaniel, sure there are words. Some people just sugar coat them or choose to say they’re are no words.  It’s a cop out. Talk to me when your kids are grown then you’ll know the truth.

  5. Ren
    Ren says:

    Pamela, darling, seriously? No one likes you because you’re a bitter, old woman who’s life did not turn out the way she wanted it to. That’s pretty much all. If it did, you’d look back on your past and be happy for what you’ve achieved. Get help and quit projecting your discontent onto complete strangers.

    Mindy – fantastic post, I giggled so much. I could just imagine your Guy’s voice on the other end of the line. I’ve had the same conversation (sorta). It’s fun to mess with their minds that way.

  6. November Grey
    November Grey says:

    I just found your blog and adore your humor! I’m a new mommy myself and find that a little help every now and again (from the best nanny in the world!), even a couple days a week, helps me keep my sanity and stay centered.  The old saying “It takes a village” is so true! Good luck with all those kiddies!

    xx

    http://novembergrey.com/

  7. maggie
    maggie says:

    Wow. I can’t imagine living your morning routine. Suddenly feeling very thankful I don’t have to figure out how to make that work. But the tattooed nanny story… so funny! Also, really loving that my teens still adore me and plan to let me live with them when I’m old an not bitter.

  8. Jimbo
    Jimbo says:

    You know what Ren?  You are wrong.  I like Pamela.  She is brutally honest.  I admire that.  Why did you attack her so viciously?

  9. Joy H
    Joy H says:

    Really, Pamela, really????? You feel the need to come to someone else’s blog and spew the truth. Well, who gives a crap about your little pity party. The truth IS that you are just trying to bring Mindy down to make your sad life seem better. The truth is that people who ‘usually’ act like this are jealous. Jealous of what she is TRYING to accomplish and be positive about, all with a sense of humor. But you don’t seem to have one of those either.

    Do you know Mindy? Have you read her book? Do you know what she has been through over the years?

    I know she can speak for herself but you have really pissed me off. (as do my children and that’s the truth!). Take your sad self and reflect on being a better person and maybe your kids would want to spend some time with you.

  10. mindy
    mindy says:

    Pamela,

    For the record, the only, and I mean the ONLY, reason there was/is a nanny involved is that it is required per the parents’ agreement as part of the divorce settlement. If one parent chooses not to exercise right of first refusal when the other is out of town on a custodial night, a nanny is engaged.

    To your other point, I have never blamed my parents for any of my own flaws. They raised me to be self aware and taught me to be objective and reasonable. I LOVE spending time with them. They support me and I support them, and we are passing that sense of familial responsibility, joyful responsibility, on to the next generation. So far, they are loving and protective and have a sense of honor and respect and loyalty to the family.

    I have never had help while home at the same time as my kids. I HAVE done it alone and will continue to do it alone. Comment elsewhere where you might understand the circumstances.

  11. Sudoku
    Sudoku says:

    Good news.This is a great post. I like this topic.This site has lots of advantage. I found many interesting things from this site. It helps me many away..So i want some information for sharing this side with some of my friend. Thanks

    Sudoku

Comments are closed.