Muses? You are not funny. Cut it out.

I swear there is nothing more irritating than having two whole days and nights ALONE in a house, no distractions, no kids, no boyfriend, and have monumental writer’s block. It’s not funny.

I am at least a month behind on my book on divorcing with children. The first several chapters were a breeze, as I had a punch list of all the VERY IMPORTANT THINGS that people never tell you but will say, “oh, yeah, you are so right about that,” when you mention it later. It’s like pregnancy, only worse. Your kids won’t remember what you blundered through while pregnant or giving birth. They will remember every little detail about a divorce. And they will never be the details you think will stick. They will blindside you decades later. You will think that a certain insecurity is due to one thing, when in fact it was due to something totally different and perhaps something you could have FIXED if you only knew. It’s maddening.

Also? Exhausting.

I feel like each chapter is being peeled off my skin in one continuous strip, so long that I think I can’t possibly function with that much laid bare. And what’s worse, my editor (MOM), will cut it into little pieces and throw away what you thought was surely an artery and if you knew she was going to cut it out you would never have handed it to her in the first place, and your circulation would be that much more intact. But then you re-read when she’s finished and wonder how you could have thought that so much needed to be peeled off to shape your point.

Each chapter leaves me drained and melancholy, which is really weird, because when I begin I’m all wired and excited and have the clearest vision of what will help others going through divorce. As I write, it flows and suddenly I see that word limit light flashing red in the corner of my eye and I struggle to wrap it up so I won’t have to see so much of my skin on the cutting room floor. On the one hand, I want to include as much as possible so that the important things are covered, but on the other hand it’s very hard to hear Mom in my head, typing HA! as she shaves off a couple hundred words. Or six hundred. That one hurt.

So, I’m going to call it a day, having birthed only one chapter. I’ve done as many as four in a day, three in one sitting, but not today. I think I need to be alone to concentrate, but the truth is that I need my children nearby to kick-start that mom-speak and mom-thought so that I can be as clear and concise as I need to be. My kids won’t listen if I drone on and on without getting to a point, so why should you?

Um, I’ll end here. I hear wine and Netflix calling.

P.S. Mom, I hit “Publish” without even re-reading this. HA!

11 replies
  1. Expertmom
    Expertmom says:

    An empty house and no distractions! Now I am super jealous… How can I make that happen? Good luck, start by saying Thanks and maybe you’ll get through the writer’s block.

    Reply
  2. Gail
    Gail says:

    I know what you mean.  I’ve tried to tell people what’s coming, the good and the bad, but I came to the conclusion that we all just need to find out for ourselves.  I didn’t want to shape someone else’s perceptions.

    Good luck with the block and as I’ve said before, I can’t wait to read it.

    Reply
  3. One of the Guys
    One of the Guys says:

    Hey Mindy,
    I like the new look of your site. 

    I complain all the time about not having enough quiet time, but I seem to thrive amidst the chaos. It’s hard to know when the creative juices will flow. I guess we’ve got to be ready at all hours of the day, like having a freakin’ newborn. 

    We just got our first video up. The link is on our Ask the Guys page. Current post. 
    Still trying to get a videos page up, etc. Check it out when you’re twiddling your pen wondering what to write. See ya around. 

    Reply
  4. devyn
    devyn says:

    Hey Melinda!
    As a divorced mom, I know how it can be! Reflecting on past experiences can be cathartic but also very sad. I wish you luck with your book and know it will be fabulous and so helpful.
    In the meantime, don’t forget to take some time to yourself when you’re at home alone! For me personally, my guilty pleasure is watching TV with a bowl of pretzels (yum!) No kids to distract me from the show haha. I’m really looking forward to this new show called “I Kid With Brad Garrett”…have you heard of it? It looks like a fun show that I can enjoy with or without the kids! Pretty sure it premieres this Monday…tune in if you have a free moment. Nothing breaks the blues better than a good laugh :)

    Reply
    • Mindy
      Mindy says:

      I saw an ad for that tonight -watching “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” of all things. I immediately thought of Allen Funt and Bill Cosby! Also? I think I gave myself sodium poisoning with a monster bag of ruffles. Effin Costco. 

      Reply
  5. Mummy Tales
    Mummy Tales says:

    Oh dear, I know the feeling – I sometimes get the writer’s block and it can be really frustrating. The mind just freezes and the fingers follow suit and both have no apologies to make. Best wishes though as you write your book. I’m sure it will be a good read.

    Reply
  6. Free Baby Samples
    Free Baby Samples says:

    Whenever writers block creeps in for me, I usually will get up and walk the dog or grab a glass of wine. Two things that always clear my mind and spike my creativity. BTW, I love your design on this blog. Is this built on thesis? If so, beautiful job.

    Reply
  7. Katy
    Katy says:

    SuperHomeBrewer on June 23, 2011 @thegregoryschneider the trfafic is from social media such as facebook and twitter – PLUS he does live webinars weekly where you can ask questions, etc – very worth it in my opinion

    Reply

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