Natural childbirth or C-section? It’s a popular question, but Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom wonders: What’s with all the judgment around a mom’s childbirth choices? Watch what the ladies of Momversation say, and tell us what you think. Is there a “right” or “normal” way to have a baby? And what’s the best way to deal with the judgment? Let us know what your experience was by leaving a comment here and checking out our related forums:
Panelists: Asha Dornfest of Parent Hacks, Daphne Brogdon of Cool Mom, Mindy Roberts of The Mommy Blog, Rebecca Woolf of Girl’s Gone Child.
I would prefer a normal delivery rather the C-section.
I had both my kids naturally and NOT easily. Probably one of the reasons I don’t want to have any more ; ) . I still advocate natural childbirth only if the Mom really really WANTS it but I’m not judgmental when it comes to being done other ways. So I guess you’re right about the people who are judgmental not having kids or having really easy births!!
By the way, I am loving these “conversations”. I especially loved the one on parenting disagreements. I always thought it was important to STAND UP but hearing all all of you gave me a new perspective that I could still stand up for my thoughts without trampling on the other person (i.e. idiot, a*hole : ) : ) : )
I think I felt the c-section was easy because I’d had abdominal surgery before and knew what to do. Natural childbirth was wild and unpredictable, and though I had an easy delivery – three pushes in ten minutes – the swelling, soreness, etc afterward were terrifying. People say episiotomies make recovery hard, but I think it’s more the birth that makes all the havoc with the swelling and weirdness. I had an episiotomy and to be honest, it never bothered me – I couldn’t even begin to worry about it next to the rest!
As a proud mom of for who has experienced it all in terms of childbirth from an 8 minute C-section to 22 hours in labor and a punishing episiotomy, I have to say, as long as the kid gets here in one piece and the mommy comes through relatively unscathed, does it really matter?
No, it does not!! That was my whole point. For example, Dylan was a perfect delivery, but then contracted an adenovirus (Coxsackie) that destroyed most of his heart muscle and landed him on life support at one week of age. So there y’go.
3 vaginal deliveries here (all posterior) so I can’t really make a comparison but I say you go for whatever is best when the time comes. I didn’t want or use any pain medication because I just didn’t feel it was necessary but I certainly wouldn’t begrudge anyone else some good drugs. By the way, I have a very high pain threshold.
I also had 3 episiotomies, one of them tore quite a ways also, my kids have big heads. I never really felt they were a big deal.
I had 3 c-sections, the first 2 were ‘failure to progress’ past 6 cm each time. The third was scheduled. After the first I had a midwife tell me “don’t let it bother you when people say you’re not a real mom because you had a c-section”. My jaw hit the floor and no one has ever said that to me ever.
I swore when I was ready to have kids I’d be the Amazon warrior, natural all the way… and then when that test read positive, my brain kicked in and said, “oh, hell no. We’re getting doped up, they’re cutting this baby out, and there will be no worrying about the “e” word, or whether we become incontinent, or whether our husband will be able to look at our vagina again without picturing that monster coming out of it.” And my brain won… I didn’t have even a hint of a change of mind. I told my OB on the first visit that I wanted a c-section, she said, “cool… we have plenty of time, it’s your choice, whatever you want to do.” Then she went on maternity leave. And the PA that saw me next read my chart and decided to refer me to a therapist. I didn’t go. My OB returned, the c-section went off without a hitch; and I was up and moving within 48 hours of delivery. That being said… mommies just need to do what their bodies tell them to, and stop listening to that know-it-all next door. Judge me? Please… I’m so busy worrying about screwing up my kid that I couldn’t care less about if people look down their noses at me for choosing the dope and the knife over the “joy of delivery.”
I’ve done it both ways… very difficult natural birth with shoulder dystocia (among other issues), very very difficult natural birth (with SEVERE tearing, hemmorage, shoulder dystocia AGAIN, etc…) and c-section cuz we weren’t risking labor and pushing again… not after almost dieing with the second one.
Honestly, for me a c-section was a much easier delivery than the vaginal ones. I recovered much quicker (and could actually sit down after delivery!).
I say, do what works for you… what’s safe for you and baby… and don’t make extreme choices because its what you want regardless of what is safest.
i’ve had 2 c-sections.. no labor what so ever and i dont think i could have it any other way. it is very scary being cut open like that but i had a very good doctor and really trusted him to take care of me. (which he did) it’s not that i didnt want to have my babies vaginally but my first baby was 9lbs 10oz and my doctor told me i wouldnt make much progress if he induced me so thats what i opted for. the second csection i had to had b/c of the risk of trying to push a baby out after a section could tear my uterus and i could bleed to death. but anyways for all the mamas out there that have your babies naturally 2 thumbs up for yall and the c-section mamas as well! we are women and we have to go through alot REGARDLESS
Four kids—all vaginal births; all with epidurals (some worked better than others). My 1st was meconium staining with 2hrs. of pushing and then vacuum extraction. I didn’t want a C-section b/c I was scared to death of surgery. It’s major surgery. The thought freaks me out. However, had they told me that either of us were in danger during delivery of course I would have had a c/s.
I just don’t understand how women automatically choose surgery, especially on a first birth when no risk factors are present. Not being judgemental; it’s just something I wonder.
when i went in for my 9 month checkup every week he checked to see if i was dialated each time i had made no type of improvement. he also told me that my baby (first one) wasnt even in my pelvis (@ 40 weeks pregnant). he said we could do one of 2 things he could induce me or we could schedule a c-section. at first i was like induce me. so he scheduled me to be induced that day, but i called my doctor back, being scared of the labor, thats when i opted for the c-section. Then when i got pregnant the second time, he scheduled me a c-section a week before i was due, just b/c of the risk of possibly bleeding to death…
Seriously, what IS the big deal? The first question I ask my friends/family after they’ve had a bab is, “Did you get an epidural?” And if they answer “yes,” I relax but if they answer “no” I am propelled into the depths of wondering why I couldn’t make it without one and why this other woman is stronger than me and how I suck and all that. I’m especially judgmental against the women who say from the beginning they’re going to go all natural and then actually do. It makes no sense!!! I just must be jealous and insecure myself.