How the wheels come off every conversation in our home

As we all lay in my big, warm bed this morning, Logan was thoughtful. “Let’s try to have a calmer day today.”

I was immediately on board. “Great! What are some ways we can do that?”

“Well, we could not fight.”

“Brilliant. Tell you what—I’ll make it interesting: whoever has the calmest day gets a special prize.”

“What’s the prize?” Daphne wanted to know.

“How about… a dinner out with me, just the two of us?”

Dylan scoffed. “Mom, you just told us the surprise.”

Logan asked, “And could you please not say ‘Marshmallows!’ this time? Because someone could just pick us up and eat us.”

“Okay, let’s focus. How about I say ‘Pillows!’ when you get rowdy to help you remember to be soft and gentle? And whoever is the calmest today will get the prize.”

Dylan said, “Yeah it could be a race! What if it were a baby and daddy race?” This is a game they play where the baby and daddy race and the daddy always loses and throws a tantrum.

“Yeah, and what if the baby won?” Logan countered from the other side of the slightly ajar bathroom door.

“Heh.” I could see Dylan’s gears spinning.

I was expecting him to escalate the game when he completely threw me with, “I once lost a race with a shoe.” I froze, not wanting to miss this, not wanting him to jump to something else. “Do you know how?”

“No, I truly don’t.”

“Well, I put the shoe at the starting line, which was also the finish line because the track was a circle, and then I took off and ran around the track and when I got to the finish line, the shoe was already there.”