Bathtime is *So* Underrated

Dylan: “Get out of here or I’m going to poop on you with my butt!”
Logan: “OK, OK!”

*giggling*

Dylan: “You pooed on me!”
Logan: “I pooed on you!”
Dylan: “I got you!”
Dylan: “You’re dead!”

*giggling and splashing*

Logan: “Please don’t hurt my beautiful butt!”
Logan: “Not my private spot!”
Logan: “I need to change my diaper!”

*splashing and giggling*

Dylan: “Your weiner!”

*giggling and splashing*

Dylan: “Get off me, you butt!”
Logan: “You are a butt!”
Dylan: “Stop it!”
Logan: “That’s enough!”
Dylan: “I have water in my eyes! I need a towel!”
Logan: “I kissed your butt!”
Dylan: “I wanna kiss your butt!”
Logan: “No, never!”
Dylan: “I wanna taste your butt!”
Logan: “Not my beautiful butt!”
Dylan: “I’m not gonna kiss your butt. Turn around.”
Logan: “I don’t believe you.”
Dylan: “Turn around.”
Logan: “I don’t believe you.”

*splashing and giggling*

Dylan: “Just lemme smell.”
Logan: “Get this slimy spit off my…”
Dylan: “It smells!”
Logan: “A giant snail!”
Dylan: “I got snails!”
Logan: “Yaaaaaaaaah!”
Logan: “It’s a giant snail! Do you hear me? You’re a giant snail! No slime! NO! SLIME!”
Dylan: “OUCH! YOU’RE MEAN!”
Logan: “Heee!”
Dylan: “I’m a giant snail!”

*giggling and splashing*

Logan: “Here, drink the potion! You’re a giant snail!”
Dylan: “I spit the potion!”
Logan: “Well, I’m a giant snail!!”

[pause]

Dylan: “You made me swallow slime.”

[pause]

Dylan: “I wanna get out.”

And then there was a long discussion about diarrhea, and while I was putting quotes in, they somehow got around to kissing.

Dylan: “Let’s kiss!”
Logan: “Mmmmm!”
Dylan: “Let’s kiss each other on the mouth!”
Logan: “Mwah! Mwah!”
Dylan: “Let’s kiss each other on the nose!”
Logan: “Let’s hug.”
Dylan: “Ok.”

These are the same kids who will only let me kiss him on the back of the head because “Kissing girls is yucky.” If I hear them lighting cigarrettes, I’m breaking it up.