This could explain both my current state of mind and this blog. I have no idea what if anything I have to write about, and have no idea what if anything to do about my life situation.
I don’t earn enough at my present job. I don’t have time to set up my side businesses properly because I am busy with my current job plus running a three-child, one-adult household. I don’t know that I’d qualify for a refinance or line of credit because of my low salary. I don’t know that I can hang onto this place without a refinance or some sort of loan arrangement. My car is making geriatric noises. I accidentally claimed the kids this year when it was my ex’s turn and I have to pay that back. I am finally feeling one hundred percent better from last week’s illness, but now I have a persistent gnawing in my stomach from worry.
I keep plugging along because things need doing; however, my brain is a frozen landscape with not much brewing on the horizon.
I am starting to get tired of my own bitching. I’m tired of talking and thinking about our circumstances. I’m mostly tired.
I don’t even want to go into the electronic pets-on-a-key chain mom gave the kids and how Daphne’s sleeps all day and beeps all night, needed a poop cleanup or a feeding, and which apparently expired last night, possibly in answer to my fervent prayers. But then she selected another pet this morning which will go into her sock drawer until she comes back home on Monday.
I’ve had some incredibly upsetting and depressing news I can’t talk about. It has no direct impact on me, but I am sick to my shoes about it. I’ve lost so much faith in so many things.
Have I mentioned how much I hate the sound of Super Mario? I’ve banished all Game Boy play to the boys’ room. If they want to interact with me, it will be without those infernal devices. Yes, I’m a jealous mistress.
Phil’s going on a student trip for a week, and I’m going south this weekend to visit my uncle before he’s deployed. The kids will be with Dad, and I should be looking forward to the free time. Maybe I could use that time to eliminate “I” statements from my repertoire.
Maybe I should go back to monitoring my company’s database for inappropriate member photos. Y’all would not believe what I’ve been finding. It make the daily propositions seem tame in comparison. Yes, we have an exploding membership in certain middle eastern countries, and a proportional rise in marriage and other proposals for the Community Manager. Yes, thank you. I’m very popular.